mr16's shoebox: pass the salt: proverbs from the book of slugg

some people ask for the salt at meal times.
pain and suffering shall be their only reward.

some ask for salt and pepper.
they shall receive only death.

i asked for gravy and it was given to me.
i asked for pepper and it was passed into my hands.
i asked for salt and i received it not.

who is amorous unto salt?
give him not your cloak.
who has a taste for salted food?
show him the door.

a fool sprinkles salt on his own body
and says "surely this will not kill me?"
but in the morning there is only slime.

look not toward the salt user.
his ways are perverse and lead only to the abyss.
i looked and, for a time, i watched him crawl toward the salt seller.
but i averted my eyes and did hear him cry,
"look! look at my actions! are they not innocent?
come, brother! join with me in sprinkling the salt upon yourself
that it may go well with you and you might surely live forever"
but i heeded him not and turned my back upon him.
a little later and i could hear him not.
a little later still and not even his shadow remained.

who has salt in their cupboards?
let them be emptied and left forever bare thereafter.
who has salt in their cellar?
let them lock the door and throw away the key.
guard jealously in your heart the words that warn against salt,
that it might be well with you and you shall not become shrivelled.
he that shuns salt and any recepticle that once contained that condiment,
let him receive your blessing.
let him be lifted up by your esteem and give him his place at your table.
he shall surely receive his reward:
a piece of ripe lettuce.